Why Do I Forget Things So Quickly? (And How to Fix It)
Have you ever shaken someone’s hand, heard their name, and then — poof — it’s gone before the handshake even ends?
Or read a paragraph in a book, turned the page, and realised you had no idea what you just read?
It’s frustrating. And for years, that was me.
I’d forget names within seconds. I’d read a page and instantly lose it. I’d walk into a room and wonder what I came in for. And for a long time, I thought: Maybe I just have a bad memory.
But that’s not the reason.
The truth is, most forgetting isn’t about how “good” or “bad” your memory is. It’s about how your brain processes information in the first place. If there’s no meaning, no context, no connection, your brain simply doesn’t hold onto it.
In this lesson, I’ll break down why you forget things so quickly, and exactly what to do instead.
Why the Brain Forgets Instantly
Let’s start with the classic example: meeting someone new.
They say, “Hi, I’m John.” You smile, shake their hand, and before you can even reply, you’ve forgotten their name.
Or you’re studying. You read a sentence and seconds later, your mind’s blank.
Why does this happen?
Because names, numbers, and abstract words don’t mean anything to the brain on their own.
They’re just data. Letters on a page. Sounds in the air.
Without context or association, your brain doesn’t bother storing them. It’s not that you didn’t hear or see it, it just wasn’t encoded. And if it’s not encoded, it won’t be recalled.
That’s why you can remember the theme song from your childhood cartoons, but not the name of the person you just met in a meeting. One has emotion, sound, colour, repetition, and context. The other is just a flat word.
So, how do we fix it? By doing what memory champions and advanced learners have always done: we make connections.
Step 1: Precondition Your Brain
The first step is awareness.
Most people walk into situations on autopilot. You go into a meeting, open a book, or start a task without mentally preparing to remember.
But here’s the trick: memory works best when you precondition your brain to pay attention and make associations.
Think of it like warming up before exercise. You wouldn’t walk into the gym and immediately lift your heaviest weight. You’d stretch, loosen up, and get ready.
Your memory works the same way.
How to Precondition Your Memory
Before a meeting: Expect to meet people. Tell yourself, “I’m going to listen for names, and I’ll make quick associations as soon as I hear them.”
Before reading or studying: Ask yourself, “What am I looking for here? What do I want to take away from this page?” That single question primes your brain to retain instead of skim.
Before work tasks: Remind yourself, “I’m about to learn this process. I’ll make images and stories as I go.”
The difference is massive. Without preconditioning, your brain lets information pass straight through. With it, your brain is switched on, alert, and ready to capture.
Step 2: Turn Data Into Associations
This is where the magic happens.
Your brain remembers through association. Connections. Stories. Images.
When you hear the name Phil, don’t just hear the sound. Turn it into something meaningful:
Maybe you think of a friend named Phil.
Or imagine him “filling” a glass of water.
Now Phil isn’t just a sound, it’s a picture. A story.
When you read something, don’t just let the words float by. Pause for a moment. Visualise. If the book says, “The castle stood on the hill,” don’t skim. See the castle. Imagine its size, colour, maybe even hear the wind around it.
That image gives your brain a hook. And the more hooks you create, the easier recall becomes.
What If You’re Not “Visual”?
Some people say, “But I can’t see pictures in my head.” That’s fine.
Memory isn’t just about visuals, it’s about senses.
If you can’t picture it, ask:
How would it feel?
What sound would it make?
What emotion does it trigger?
Feelings are often stronger than images. If you’ve ever felt the pain of stubbing your toe, you know what I mean.
So, whether you see it, feel it, or hear it, the goal is the same: turn flat data into something alive.
Step 3: Keep Practising (Don’t Stop Too Soon)
Here’s where most people go wrong.
They try memory techniques once or twice. They make an association, forget it anyway, and think: This doesn’t work for me.
But memory isn’t a magic trick. It’s a skill.
The first few times, yes, you’ll still forget. That’s normal. But if you keep practising, something incredible happens: your brain starts doing it automatically.
When I first started, it took me ages to come up with associations. But after weeks of practice, my brain was faster. Eventually, it almost became instant.
Just like learning to ride a bike or play an instrument, memory connections strengthen with repetition. Not rote repetition of words, repetition of the process. The more you train your brain to turn data into stories, the sharper it gets.
Why Forgetting Isn’t Failure
One of the biggest mindset shifts is this: forgetting isn’t failure, it’s feedback.
If you forget someone’s name, it doesn’t mean you can’t remember names. It means the story you made wasn’t strong enough.
That’s good news. Because it means you can adjust. Next time, exaggerate more. Add colour, sound, or emotion.
Memory isn’t about perfection. It’s about iteration. Each time you forget, you’re learning how to make your associations stronger.
Practical Examples
Let’s bring this to life with a few scenarios.
Remembering Names
Meet someone called Grace. Instead of just hearing the sound, turn it into:
Grace dancing ballet gracefully across the room.
Add movement: she twirls, knocks into you, and spills your drink.
Add emotion: you laugh, surprised at how clumsy “grace” turned out to be.
Now the name Grace isn’t just a sound, it’s a scene.
Remembering What You Read
Reading: “The economy is facing headwinds.”
Visualise: giant dollar bills flying into a storm.
Feel: the wind pushing against your body.
Hear: the roar of the storm.
Now you’ll remember it, because you’ve encoded it as an experience.
Studying Numbers
Need to recall 58? Using the Major System, that might be “lava” (5 = L, 8 = V).
So you picture lava pouring over your desk, burning your notes, and you’re leaping out of the way.
That’s unforgettable.
The Deeper Why: How Your Brain Really Works
At its core, your brain is a meaning-making machine.
For thousands of years, survival depended on remembering what mattered:
Which plants were poisonous.
Where to find food.
Who could be trusted.
Your brain didn’t memorise words on a page. It remembered vivid experiences: the red colour of berries, the taste of sweet fruit, the fear of an animal’s roar.
That’s why abstract data slips away, and why associations work so well. By turning information into stories, images, and senses, you’re aligning with how your brain is built to remember.
A Simple Memory Training Drill
Here’s an exercise you can try today:
Pick three random words (e.g., “lamp,” “banana,” “shoe”).
For each one, create a vivid story:
The lamp explodes with fireworks.
The banana sings opera in Italian.
The shoe chases you down the street.
Add senses: hear the opera, smell the fireworks, feel the shoe kicking you.
Recall the words after five minutes, then after an hour.
Do this daily, and your brain starts forming associations automatically.
Final Thoughts
So, why do you forget things so quickly?
Because you’re not prepared to remember.
Because you don’t build associations.
Because you stop practising too soon.
The fix isn’t complicated. Precondition your brain. Make connections. Keep practising until it becomes natural.
Memory isn’t about being gifted. It’s about using the right process, and training it like a muscle.
And once you start, you’ll be amazed at how quickly forgetting turns into remembering.
And if this lesson got you thinking about your own memory, the best way to understand where you stand is to take the Memory Performance Assessment.
It’s a short reflection that highlights your strengths and pinpoints where you might be struggling. Many people find it eye-opening, and it often sparks the first step toward real, lasting improvement.
